“I want a do over”

“I want a do over”

A phrase every child has yelled on the kick-ball field during recess. Maybe the ball took a wicked bounce on the way over the plate, maybe it was just too fast of a pitch, or maybe we were just not ready to kick the ball. Regardless, a called ‘do over’ was usually granted.

I want a do over.

I want a do over that rubs the slate clean and takes me back to Mrs. Petersons 8^th grade science class and Lowell Middle. I want a do over that takes me back to that day when I heard a very loud and very strange laugh from the far corner of the class room. I want a do over that takes me back to the day I met a very dear friend.

I’m sure Mrs. Peterson was great teacher. But, her classroom was always excessively warm and her lectures were always a bit dry. If one were not careful, one could doze off. And if one were on the very cusp of dozing off, you know that twilight time just before full sleep when your body disconnects with the brain and does unexpected things, one might let out a completely unintentional yet very loud belch. My belch was what earned a single laugh from the corner of the room, a laugh that I will never forget.

An old friend passed away the other day. A friend that I wish I could hear laugh one more time.

Bob Hammons was my friend.

He was my friend during those awkward early teenaged years when life seemed endless and huge.

As young adults we were friends, when life began to get a little more serious but there was still fun to be had.

We were friends when we entered our forties and life was a warm Fourth of July weekend spent with his wonderful son at the beach.

Memories of Bob are pouring over me like waves, memories that I never want to forget.

Memories of the cardboard U2 setting in his bedroom window that you could see from Lilley Road. In 9th grade, I didn't have a clue what a U2 was.  

Memories like the time he let me borrow his Adam Ant album. It was the first album I ever listened to.

Memories like the time Kenny Kim met us in the 2nd floor at Salem High and Bob grabbed the violin out of Kenny's hands and played the most beautiful tune I had ever heard.

Memories like the time I met him on the stairs in Canton High school to show him a flyer I was drawing. He was DJ-ing a teen dance night at that night club in Canton on Ford Road that is now a Wal-Mart. Standing next to him on the stairs was a girl that I had never met before, I would marry her one day.

Memories of Bob at my wedding. I told Hanna that I would only get married if I had three things there, Bob, Val and BBQ ribs at the reception. I got all three that night.

I want to go back at tell my younger self to spend a little more time savoring the few real friendships I had. I want to go back and tell Bob that I love him and that I will miss him very much one day.

I want to tell Bob thank you for being my friend when I was a young teen and had no friends. Bob gave me the strength to be myself and be proud to be different.

I want to tell Bob thank you for being my friend when I was a young man and I believed that I didn't fit in and that my life was over. Bob opened my eyes to what was important and that things can always get better no matter how dark it may seem.

I want to tell Bob thank you for being my friend as a middle aged man. Bob taught me that it is never too late for anything and that life is about the journey and not the destination.

I just wish the journey would have lasted a little longer with him in the passenger seat.

I want a do over so much right now.

I miss my friend. I miss Bob Hammons. I loved Bob Hammons.