When I started this thing, my wife made me promise that I would not write about certain things.
1: My ex-wife
2: My children
3: My 'record'.
4: My erectile dysfunction
So far, I have honored her wishes and I will continue to honor them.
Summer is quickly creeping towards fall and you can even see the beginnings of the trees starting to turn, their leaves turning from a deep emerald to a darker hooker green. Everything that ever happened to me that is worth remembering has happened in middle August. This August is no different.
This summer I learned to never trust anyone. Well, never to trust anyone who has not seen you naked.
After I sold off all of Kay's belongings at the Wednesday morning flea market, I knew that I would have to find a job to help pay for the rent on my new studio. After scouring the Craigslist jobs page with no real offers, I answered a help wanted ad in the Muskegon Chronicle. The job being advertised was for a part-time crew member at the Wesco gas station on Sherman. Not the best job in the world for a Master's Degree holding artist, but a job is a job and cash is king.
A phone call and a quick meet and greet migrated towards the obligatory filling out of paperwork and the scheduling of a first day on the job.
.....ok, from this point on, I have promised the Wesco Corp. that I would not use real names and use only vague generalities when speaking of my short employment with the Wesco Corp.....
I was informed that my first scheduled day of work would be a Wednesday morning and that it would consist of a short employee orientation and a instructional video.
So far so cool.
Wednesday morning came and I arrived early. I was given a blue polo shirt to wear and ushered into the break room to watch a short instructional video. After the video, I was paired up with a veteran team member and shown the ropes on how to work the cash register and run the pop corn popper.
Without saying too much and breaking my signed agreement with the Wesco Corp., I thought the next few weeks I worked there were fun. I really thought I was doing a good job and getting along with the other gas station attendants. But, never trust anyone who has not seen you naked.
Well, a couple of weeks ago I noticed that I had only one day scheduled. It was a Friday afternoon shift. What was odd was that it appeared that there Friday afternoon was over scheduled by two people. I didn't occur to me at the time, but I was being called onto the Wesco Corp. carpet and I did not know why.
Friday afternoon came and when I showed up for work, the cashier on duty told me that the boss needed to see me and to not punch in. Goddamn it.
I was told that my work was appreciated and above standard but a couple of cashiers informed the boss that I had done things that made them 'uncomfortable' working next to me. I asked him for specifics of what I was accused of doing that made these women so 'uncomfortable'. The boss man told me that he couldn't reveal who had made the accusations but it did have something to do with my language.
I knew exactly what he was talking about. The week before I called two cashiers 'Dumb-asses' because they were allowing teen boys to steal beer from the cooler while another boy distracted them by knocking over the sunglasses display. When I saw what was happening, I shouted "Hey, you little fucks. Get out of there". They dropped the beer and ran off and I should have told the boss about the attempted theft immediately but I thought the two cashiers were my friends and promised I wouldn't tattle. Man did they fuck me over!
I tried telling the boss about the kids and the beer but he told me that the Wesco Corp. does not support hostile work environments and that my employment was being terminated. Goddamn it.
They made me sign a separation agreement before I could receive my final pay check. Goddamn it.
Well, summer is almost over and from now on if there is someone in my life that I need to trust, I plan on stripping naked and whipping my dick out on the spot. Get it out there baby and out of the way....trust me.
