Got an Email the other day:


From: prisca kipkalya
<priscakipkalya03@gmail.com>
Sent: Sat, July 23, 2011 6:10:26

Subject: I AM INTERESTED IN YOU
Hello My Dearest
     I am writing this mail to you With due
respect trust and humanity, i appeal to you to exercise a little patience and
read through my letter i feel quite safe dealing with you in this important
business having gone through your remarkable profile, honestly i am writing this
email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to
have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to
contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation, My
name is Miss Prisca Kipkalya, 24yrs old female and I’m from Kenya in  East
Africa. My father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister
of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed
to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The
plane crashed on the Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.

You can read more about
the crash through the below site:

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/06/10/kenya.crash/index.html
After
the burial of my father, my step-Mother and uncle conspired and sold my father's
property to an Italian Expertrate which the shared the money among themselves
and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase
and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one
bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina
Faso to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself
and start a new life, on my arrival, the Bank Director whom I met in person told
me that my father's instruction in his will to the bank was that the money would
only be release to me when I present a trustee who will help me and invest the
money overseas. I am in search of an honest and reliable person who will help me
and stand as my trustee so that I will present him to the Bank for transfer of
the money to his/her bank account overseas.

I have chosen to contact you
after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather
take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing
myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me
that you may be the true person to help me. Moreover, I will like to disclose
much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my
step-Mothers have threatened to assassinate me. The amount is($5.8USD) Million
United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank in Burkina Faso on my
arrival, You will also help me to place the money in a more profitable business
venture in your Country. However, you will help by recommending a nice
University in your country so that I can complete my studies. It is my intention
to compensate you with 30% of the total money for your services and the balance
shall be my capital in your establishment.

As soon as I receive your
positive response showing your interest I will put things into action
immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message
indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely.
Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please do keep this only to your
self for now until the bank will transfer the fund. I beg you not to disclose it
until i come over because I am afraid of my wicked step-mother who has
threatened to kill me and have the money alone ,I thank God Today that am out
from my country (Kenya) but now In (Burkina Faso) where my father deposited
these money with my name as the next of Kin. I have the documents for the
claim.

Thanks
God bless you
Prisca kipkalya
________________________________________________________________________________

From: Topher Crowder
<tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>
To: priscakipkalya03@gmail.com
Sent: Mon, July 25, 2011 2:09:52 PM
Subject: Re: I AM INTERESTED IN YOU

Hello and what up dildo
Hello my beutiful dearest woman prisca.
Thank you for writing me, you words may make my entrails tingle like a
christmas tree angel. I was able to read most of your letter before i had to
stop and rub one out, but from what i understand you need the help of a white
american man like myself. I am assuming that you are chocolate flavored because
you are from kenya (do they have white people there?) I WANT TO HELP YOU!!

 ok ok, mother will be waking up soon and she doesnt like it when i use her
computer (i make messes) so i will only ask that you write me back and say what
you need me to do.

Also, could you send photographs of yourself in sheer to waste suntan
pantyhose?

I cant wate to hear from you again my african chocolate little intercourse
machine....oh and i just mad a mess. gotta clean this up before mom wakes
up.
I will talk to you later my sweet sweet cholate dream.

Mr. Topher what up dildo crowder
assisatnt to the vice president, muskegon alan ginsberg massage center and
NAMBA outreavch center
_________________________________________________________________________
From: Prisca kipkalya
<priscakipkalya@gmail.com>
To: tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net
Sent: Mon, July 25, 2011 3:35:37 PM
Subject: I AM FULL OF HAPPY TO RECEIVE YOUR MAIL?

Hello My Dearest, I have just received your email with lot's of excitement, when i sent the
letter to you, my heart has been over occupied with thoughts and fear if my situation will
touch your heart to come for my rescue, i am glad and more than happy now i
saw your mail. How was your day?, Mine is a little bit hot
over here in
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.

                            *More About
Me*
 Like I told you in my first email, I am Prisca Kipkalya Kones from Nairobi
Kenya in East Africa,  24 yrs old, never married, the only child of
my late Mother. who died at her second child birth after I was born. I could
not recognized her face as I didn’t received motherly care because I  was little when she died but from her picture I saw,
I can describe her a little, also from the brief story my late father told
me about her, I can tell you the life style and how she behaves when she was
alive. I do have international passport and other travelling papers, but my
evil wicked step-mother sized all my traveling papers when she knew that I
was about moving down to Burkina Faso for the money, she confiscatorily hide
away all my traveling papers because she thought she could stop me from
going enable her achieve her evil plan and sit on my money. I am hoping to secure a new
passport after the transfer of my money . I ran away from my
late father home
because of my evil step-mother (Beatrice Kipkalya ), she is a great
politician. Following the death of my father, by-elections at
Bomet Constituency were held on September 25, 2008. The seat was won by
Beatrice
kipkalya, my wicked step-Mother took over my late's political seat , who
doesn’t need my progress and want me death because she wants to sit on
my right. I’m afraid of her. I stopped in my first year in university
in medicine when my father died, I could not
further because I was only after my life. I need to continue my studies once
I come over and meet you. We need to discuss much one in one and I have a
lot to tell you when I join you overthere.
                                    *About Rev. Father
Benjamin/Camp
Authority*
Firstly i am emailing you from the office of the
Reverend Benjamin in
EVANGELICAL LURTHRAN CHURCH OF GOD, I told the Reverend Benjamin about my
communication with you and he permitted me to access my email in his office
computer twice a day, Please you can call me with the office number of the
rev father +226 75 27 97 95 here in the Mission camp and ask of Prisca
Kipkalya  that stays in the female hostel room 12, block C when
you will call me. As a refugee here i don't have any right or privilege to
any thing
be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country. I
want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before
the tragic incident that lead to my being in this situation then
took place. In the Refugee camp hostel where i am  leaving now we are only allowed to go
out only on Mondays and Fridays of the weeks. Its just like one staying in
the prison and i hope by God's grace i will come out here
soon.
                                          *My
feelings*
 Despites the money, I really want someone who will care and
love me, I need someone who will always tell me the truth from his heart, I
need someone who will be my Brother, my best Friend, even though you take me
like your blood
Sister or part of your family I will not mind but as long as we got along
together with real love I will definitely be satisfied. I want you to think
very well and understand in your heart if you really you want to
help me, If yes’ I will live the rest of my live to appreciate it, But if no
I suggest you make it open to me before you will break my heart, Because I
don't want
to under go torture any more. I need a God fearing person that
will not cheat on me when the money has been transferred, i keep on praying
to God
that he should give me a person that is honest and faithful so that he
will be nice and faithful to me when the money is transferred.
                                               *After the transfer*
 After
transfer of this money to your account, you will help me withdraw some
money from the account where the money was transferred, and from it you can
send some money to me to get my traveling documents and air ticket to come
over to meet with you in order to further my studies .You will send a letter
of invitation to me so that they will give me a VISA urgently to travel and
join you over, to enable me continue my education.  It is my intention
to compensate you with 30% of the total money for your services,
please understand my condition and do not abandon me without help. Therefore
my condition here is very bad, to eat is very hard for me but with God
all things will be good just a day.
 I WOULD  LIKE  TO
KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR EXPERINCE IN BUSINESS KNOWING
THAT YOU WILL BE
THE ONE TO INVEST THE MONEY. WE NEED TO KNOW EACH OTHER
BETTER FOR MORE TRUST
AND UNDERSTAND IN BETWEEN US.SECONDLY, I WILL
APPRECIATE IT BETTER ONCE I
RECIEVE THE BELOW INFORMATION OF YOURS . 1.Your
Full
Name.....................?, 2.Your Nationality / home Address
.............?,
3.

Occupation.............?, 4. Your Age..............?, 5. Mobile
phone
number.............  6. Your personal picture
.................


Once i hear from you with the above details of
yours, i will give you my
late father's account details and bank
contact/information to apply to bank
for the transfer. Remember i 'll be
giving you all this information due to
the trust i deposed on
you.

Please Note:  I have only one personal picture attached. For more
Trust, I
will like you to call me with Reverend Father's office telephone
number +226
75 27 97 95 I like someone being  honest, understandable,
truthful and of
vision, truth and hardworking. My favorite language is
English and i speak
it very fluently.

Meanwhile, i will like
you to call me on Rev Father office telephone +226 75
27 97 95  like i said
earlier before now that  i have alot to tell you. Have
a nice day and God
bless you. Please i am waiting for your call.

Awaiting to hear from you
soonest


Yours in love

Prisca Kipkalya
___________________________________________________________________________
From: Topher Crowder
<tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>
To: Prisca kipkalya
<priscakipkalya@gmail.com>
Sent: Tue, July 26, 2011 2:02:57
PM
Subject: Re: I AM FULL OF
HAPPY TO RECEIVE YOUR MAIL?

Hello and welcome what up dildo

Hello my african chocolate queen prisca..

Hello and i love your photograph you sent me. Boy you are a dark woman, i
didnt think you would be that dark. And your nose is kind of wide. but thats
cool. i could deal with that. Maybe in your next photo you could not take a
picture of your face, maybe just your lower half wearing sheer towaste
pantyhose. Why didnt you do as i asked and show yourself wearing sheer to waist
pantyhose. my god is it that hard? i mean i am trying to help you and your
backward country with my rich american ways. the least you could do is help me
obtain a happy ending with a handfull of hand lotion and your photo. Next photo
promise you will be wearing pantyhose.

my my, i'm sorry i sound so mad. my mother is not feeling well and she isnt
shareing her checks with me. She gets a check every moth because she has gained
some waight due to a gland issue. her goddam boyfriend is taking all of the
money i would be getting. but oh well, i cant complane, we had 3 new members at
the east muskegion NAMBLA chapter and one of them promised me some money if i
did a job for him. Im supposed to meet him this saturday. pray for me sweet
black prisca my african big nosed queen.

But ok ok, boy you do wright alot.  you tell a good story. but lets gett to
the meet of what i can do to help you my queen.

name: Topher whatupdildo crowder
address: 3162 boltwood east muskegon heights, usa 48125 trailer #3 in the
back by the sewage dump
 AGE: a young boyish 43

occuation: assistant to the director of the alan ginsberg adult library and
east muskegon NAMBLA outreach center

phone : 586-770-8536 ask for mike...he will come get me

attached you will find my picture. i was having a bad hair day but i look
good, damn good. wait till you see my root!

please write back my african queen and remember those pantyhose

i love you

topher whatupdildo crowder


assitant to the director of the alen ginsberg adult library and Muskegon
NAMBLA outreach center
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________

From: Prisca kipkalya
<priscakipkalya@gmail.com>
To: Topher Crowder
<tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>
Sent: Wed, July 27, 2011 3:34:49
AM
Subject: CONTACT THE
BANK


Hello My Dearest,

Thanks a lot for your mail, picture and
information, I have seen your tender zealous heart to help me out from this
country. Like I told you, I have discussed with the bank and they informed me
that my late father placed an instruction in his will which he left a copy to
bank that the money can not be release without a reliable and a God fearing
person ( A Foreign Trustee)   who can not in any way intend to
cheat on me when the money is transfer red. I believe with you the transfer will
be done successfully, all I need from you is to take this transfer serious and
make  time for it.

The bank told me that you need to contact them for the
transfer, so that they will give you the transfer procedure. The bank managing
Director told me that they can only approve you my Trustee when they see that
you are honest, sincere and capable to obey instruction and able to provide any
information requested from you in the course of the transfer. They said that
during the transfer , they will contact your bank in your country to inform them
that such money is coming into your bank account.

Apart the instruction
placed in my late father’s will, I don’t have access of the money due to my
refugee status here in this country, Please my dearest, you have to try very
well and help me out from this prison called Refugee camp, life in this camp is
very hard and full of suffer ness which I’m praying for God’s help. If not the
help of Rev Father Benjamin who allow me to access my mail box and communicate
with you in his office computer twice in a day i would have find it so hard to
contact you. I have no business experience remember that you will be the one to
invest the money as i want to continue my studies once i come over there. Now
the bank is waiting for you to get in contact with them.
Please after reading this mail, make sure you contact the
Bank through this email Address  boainformation@financier.com
Go through the below mail very well and copy it and send it to the bank
for the transfer. Do not forget to get back to me once you contact the bank
today.
CONTACT THE BANK WITH THE BELOW
LETTER

THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS  FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
BANK
OF AFRICA (BOA) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO
TEL/(00226 ) 75 79 47 68 ,FAX/(00226) 50 32 02
07
Email 1:      boainformation@financier.com

Contact The Managing Director: Dr. Michel F. Kahn

Director of Foreign Operation Department English Section


I wish to apply as a Trustee to Miss Prisca Kipkalya
Kones the next
of kin to Kipkalya Kones from Kenya , who died
on plane crash in the
year 2008. I am putting claim over his balance of
($5.800, 000, 00
million dollars) from his ACCOUNT NUMBER 0036101101 and
ROUTING NO:
91002211.
Please let me know the legal procedure for transferring
the said fund into my bank account.

Your kind assistance in providing urgent
consideration and reply my application will be appreciated.

THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION ARE AS
FOLLOWS:
Account Holder: Mr Kipkalya Kones
Atif
Account Number: 0036101101
Routing Number: 91002211
Amount:
$5.800.000.00 USD
Next Of Kin: Miss Prisca Kipkalya  Kones
Atif

My Name ……………
_____________________________________________________________________________

From: Topher Crowder  <tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>To: Prisca kipkalya  <priscakipkalya@gmail.com>Sent: Wed, July 27, 2011 11:42:48  PMSubject: Re: CONTACT THE  BANK Hello and whatsupdildo   Hello and welcome my lovely african choclate queen and seman  dumpster.   I printed a copy of that photo you sent me and have been taking care of  myself (twice yesterday). But i do have to tell you that i am angry that you did  not send another photo of yourself. I dont realy care about your face, your nose  is wide and it doesnt do anything for me. I WANT A PHOTO OF YOU WEARING SHEER TO  WASTE PANTYHOSE!!. pLEASE, if you send me this i will help you as much as you  want.   OK, enough about pantyhose. Mother would be angry if she knew i was asking  you to send me a photo of you wearing SHEER TO WASTE PANTYOSE. Mother used to  have quite a collection of pantyhose until she found out what i was using them  for. i would always wash them and return them to her pantyhose drawer, but she  couldnt get over that i had enjoyed myself with them.  but i wont tell  mothet.   Would you like me to contact the bank? Or should i let you handle the bank?  The last time i tried this the bank ended up calling mother and the cat was  killed. I really dont want mother to find out i am helping you. She may ask for  a share of the money. Right now how much money are you oing to send when you get  it?   Tell you what, as soon as i finish here i will send a nice letter to the  bank for you. if mother finds out, i'll deal with her myself.    anyways, the library is closing and they will be kicking me out soon. so  i'll let you go. promise me you will send me a photo of you wearing PANTYHOSE.  not one of your face, to be honest your face looks like it was punched and its  hard for me to finish.   i will send the bank letter tonight. please tell me you love me.   Topher whatupdildo crowder assistant to the manager of the alan ginsberg adult libray and NAMBLA  outreach center
_________________________________________________________________________

From: Topher Crowder
<tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>
To:
boainformation@financier.com
Sent: Thu, July 28, 2011 12:05:32
AM
Subject: Miss Prisca
Kipkalya


hello and what up dildo...

Hello Mr. African Bank Manager.
My name is Mr. Topher what up dildo Crowder. A couple of days ago a nice
collered girl, Miss Prisca Kipkalya. wrote me asking me for help. We have been
writing back and forth and she has promised me her flower if i help her. Let me
tell you, i bet her flower is smells like bacon and old trout becaue her face
looks like someone mashed it in a vice. anyways. Her bottom half doest seem to
bad and i bet i could really go to town of her. But anyways, she gave me your
email so i could send you my information or something.

Anyways, what do you need me to send you? Will you need a check or money
order? how about PAYPAL?

anyways. write me back as soon as you get this and tell me what i
need.

thank you

______________________________________________________________________
From: Prisca kipkalya
<priscakipkalya@gmail.com>
To: Topher Crowder
<tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>
Sent: Thu, July 28, 2011 2:32:37
AM
Subject: i need to see yours
again.

Hello My Dearest,

I do not understand what you mean by pantyhose, mean while i have no scan
photo in my mailfolder now but will send one to you later.
Have you contacted the bank as you promised to email them. let me know as
soon as possible.while waiting for my photo, i need to see yours again.

Thanks
Prisca
mr. topher what updildo crowder
_________________________________________________________________________

From: Topher Crowder
<tophercrowder@sbcglobal.net>
To: Prisca kipkalya
<priscakipkalya@gmail.com>
Sent: Thu, July 28, 2011 1:52:12
PM
Subject: Re: i need to see yours again.
 Hello and whatup dildo..

Hello miss prisca my african pleasure hole
 Yes yes yes i contacted the bank. they havent written me back yet. i told
them about us and what we are planning and how we will celebrate with both hands
and maybe a foot. OK OK...what do you mean you dont know what pantyhose are.
They are fantastic and were created buy our lord and Jesus Christ for the
betterment of men and women.these wonderful inventions allow men who would
normaly be aroused but the touch of a teen aged boy to become rock hard by the
feel of lycra and nylon.
 Pantyhose are worn on your legs. Do they not have them in africa? I have
seen african pantyhose at the partystore "Big Mama" and "brown sugar" brands..of
course those nude types are a dark shade of brown, not the creamy white like
normal women.
 doesnt anyone in africa have a cell phone camera? i mean come on. you guys
must be like living in west virginia.
 I want to help you real bad. I contacted the bank. My mother has not found
out about any of this and you dont know what pantyhose are.
 Come on. You are the first woman who as ever promised her flower to me and
you dont know what pantyhose are. Jesus is playing a cruel joke on my and my
engorged man root. please ask some one. please buy a pair.
 Send me that photo of you and your PANTYHOSE.
 I have attached a photo of the money that i have been saving to help
you.
 I NEED YOU IN PANTYHOSE
 i love you

mr. topher whatu8pdildo crowder
assistant to the directore of the east muskegon NAMBLA outreach center and
adult book store

I think my outdoor painting club is done for the season. Things had been slowing down for the past few weeks and people had begun to skip out on me. This week was the end I think. On Friday I had left phone messages for everyone but I never received any call backs. Regardless, I went down to Mr. Quicks and waited for three hours for people to show up. No one did. Oh well. It was a grey and rainy day, maybe people did not want to paint in the rain.

I found a spot to paint all by myself but did not stay long. My heart was not into painting today. This time of year, my clinical depression takes hold and colors begin to lose their vibrancy. The entire world begins to look like a faded charcoal drawing that even my daily Prozac can't bring to life.

So I drove home and put away my oils for the winter. I don't use oil paint in the house because of my wife's aversion to the smell of turpentine. Winter is a time to curl up in my favorite chair by the fire and contemplate new beginnings.

My depression does do one thing well, it allows me to build grandiose dreams. I begin to think of wild new art projects such as public sculptures made of wood and in the shape of mounted animal heads, map-like drawings on large sheets of paper, and a large series of small framed drawings on paper documenting The Cocoanut Grove Fire in Boston. Of course none of these things will see the light of day because, while I am able to imagine them, I lack the motivation to do any of them. That is what makes depression sad.

Even an afternoon spent at Hooter's lacked the usual sexual excitement and left me flaccid. I mean, I ended up watching a football game for fuck's sake. A sea of large breasted young women with nylon encased legs and all I could think about was the lack of ice in my iced tea and the presidential election. The best I am hoping for is some type of delayed reaction. In about four hours I bet I will be sitting at my computer and a banner ad for American Apparel will pop up and there will be four more weeks of winter, if you get my drift.

Well, I have a half bottle of Maker's Mark that I gotta finish so that I can engrave my next Presidents and Pantyhose bottles. I think this week it will be Mr. Grover Cleveland. Remember, bidding for these prizes start at just a penny and shipping is free.